


Five Ways Utgard Loki's World Did Not End

by jan



Category: Matantei Loki Ragnarok | Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-07
Updated: 2005-10-07
Packaged: 2018-01-25 05:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1633187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jan/pseuds/jan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for qwerty</p>
    </blockquote>





	Five Ways Utgard Loki's World Did Not End

**Author's Note:**

> Written for qwerty

 

 

**I.**

Loki's grin is sharp, self-satisfied. It shouldn't be able to make Utgard Loki angry but it does, in the same way as Loki's careless mockery or Loki's thoughtless pride or the way Loki knows nothing of loss and emptiness -- Utgard Loki forces his blade forward, sending sparks down the edges of their locked swords, and catches a glimpse of Loki's steel-reflected smile in the moment before he disarms him.

Loki stumbles back, falls. The sword clatters to the ground, some feet away, and Utgard Loki breathes and steadies his grip and wonders why it does not feel like victory.

"I guess you've won," Loki says, looking up, his smile sharp with swallowed pain instead of pride. The rune-world trembles and begins to fade, its purpose completed. Utgard Loki hears Urd's voice behind him, measured and regretful as she says:

"It has to be this way, Loki-sama -- Utgard-sama -- "

And Spica looks up at them from her bed, looks at Loki with nothing but sadness in her eyes; Utgard Loki feels something catch in his chest and almost wishes things had ended differently.

 

 

 

**II.**

Utgard Loki lets Urd rest her hands lightly on his shoulders. She doesn't try to comfort him any other way, or acknowledge his tears, and he would have been distantly grateful for that if he had noticed. As it is, he can think of little besides his loss. The knowledge that he had failed to bring Spica back is a bitter taste at the back of his throat; the memory of the smile which she had given Loki, and Loki alone, burns as brightly as pain.

By the time they return to his castle, he has regained both his true form and enough composure to stop his tears. Urd steps back. She says nothing as she follows him through the silent corridors, and Utgard Loki doesn't hear her when she first begins to speak. But then she mentions Spica, as she reaches out to brush back his hair, and the anger flares cold and sharp within him - he slaps her hand away, turns to leave.

"Please wait, Lord Utgard -- where are you--?"

He turns, words of scorn readied on his lips; but the sadness in her eyes is familiar in a way it should not be, and it is enough to stop him. The anger burns itself out into ashes. He tries not to think of Spica when she approaches, or when he lets her bring one hand up to his cheek, but it makes no difference: he ends up doing so anyway.

 

 

 

**III.**

Utgard Loki knows enough about the Fenris wolf to find it strange that the black puppy paws so petulantly at the leg of his father's chair, and stranger yet that it is so pleased when Loki finally gives in and picks him up. The Midgard serpent, too, seems disquietingly comfortable in his human form. Utgard Loki regards him absently; Yamino smiles and continues to lay out the crockery, but is already looking across the table to seek the reassurance of his father's gaze. Presumably he receives it. Utgard Loki does not bother watching.

Yamino leaves for the kitchen, reappears with a fully-laden tray. Loki says, "Thank you, Yamino-kun," as a slice of cake is placed before him, and somehow that is enough: a slight tension leaves Yamino's shoulders. That is another thing that Utgard Loki cannot understand.

"Do you plan to stay long?" Loki asks after a while, still absently stroking Fenrir. Utgard Loki puts down his fork. The tines ring out sharp against the edge of his plate, and if Yamino was not already observing the conversation discreetly from the kitchen, he would be now.

"No." It is truthful enough an answer; he has planned none of this, after all, and is still not too clear why he is having cake and tea in Loki's dining room.

"Ah," Loki says, the relief a bit too obvious in his voice. "Well. We probably have a guest bedroom somewhere; I'm sure Yamino-kun can take care of that."

Later, they go upstairs. Yamino is respectful, and cautious, and keeps his eyes fixed on the ground, his polite smiles nothing like the ones he gives his father. Still, Utgard Loki is almost sorry when he leaves. The room is unfamiliar in its mundane homeliness, with its soft cotton sheets that feel harsh compared to cold silk, and a bed that is far smaller than the four-poster Utgard Loki is used to, yet too large for this too-young, human form.

 

 

 

**IV.**

Hel looks down at him, her gaze detached and almost appraising. Utgard Loki runs his hand over his front, though he knows he does not need to, and is unsurprised when his fingers meet smooth fabric instead of blood. His anger at Urd has faded, along with the wound that she gave him; perhaps it is a consequence of death. But there are things death does not take from him, and he still recalls the reason for his anger, so he asks: "Where is Angrboda?"

"With me," Hel says. She does not react as Utgard Loki gets to his feet, unsteadily, and surveys the shadows.

"How do I get her back?"

"You don't." Her voice is at once indifferent and unquestionably sad. "I am sorry for this, Lord Utgard, but you have something that my father needs." Utgard Loki turns, surprised, as she steps closer and reaches up to clasp her hands around his neck.

"You--"

"My father needs your soul," Hel says, and he can read nothing in her clear green eyes. "You failed to unite properly while alive, and time is running out." She pulls Utgard Loki towards her, her grip inexorable and firm --

And then stops, suddenly; Utgard Loki looks past her and sees Spica, who has one hand on her daughter's shoulder. She does not look at him.

"There's still time," Spica says quietly. "That person does not need his soul, to awaken."

Hel's cold hands leave his skin. "Won't it help Father? Why shouldn't we do this -- Lord Utgard's already dead --"

Spica does not look at her daughter, either. The silence stretches. Utgard Loki realises that none of them are breathing.

"I will speak to the Norns," Hel says at last, "if I can find them."

When she leaves the shadows grow fainter, fading into even vaguer grey. "Thank you," Utgard Loki says eventually. He is unsure what he is thanking her for -- what she has saved is not exactly his life -- so he leaves it at that. Spica looks up at him, eyes as dark and sad as they were the first time he met her, and lifts a gentle hand to his cheek.

Blond hair would look silver in this half-light, Utgard Loki thinks, and then wishes he had not thought it.

 

 

 

**V.**

"And this is what you wanted."

It is hard to tell if Loki is asking or stating it, but that does not matter either way to Utgard Loki: he closes his eyes, says "No." It is hard to tell if the reply is disagreement or denial.

"Hm," Loki says, fingers pausing somewhere between the stiff fold of Utgard Loki's collar and the cool skin beneath. He brushes Utgard Loki's hair back with his other hand instead, runs his thumb over one closed eyelid. "It isn't?"

"No," Utgard Loki says again, and opens his eyes; says, "but it doesn't matter." He is not sure which part of that sentence is the lie.

Loki smiles. He traces Utgard Loki's collarbone with one hand, follows the curve of his jaw with the other, carefully, as though trying to memorise the planes and lines by touch. Utgard Loki doesn't see the point: their bodies are the same. His own hands curl loosely by his side, unmoved -- but then Loki _smiles_ , and tilts Utgard Loki's head back slightly, and his lips are even warmer than Utgard Loki had expected.

When Loki finally pulls away, his hands leave Utgard Loki's skin. "You know this doesn't mean anything," he says, beginning to unfasten the heavy cloak from around Utgard Loki's shoulders. He gets as far as the second clasp before Utgard Loki catches his wrist.

"It doesn't have to," Utgard Loki replies, and this time he is the one who leans in.

 


End file.
